Moments....

It's one of those teeth-chattering cold nights; just a thought of it gives me a shiver. As cold as it feels, the look outside is breathtakingly beautiful. It's like the entire surrounding is draped under white sheets - of snow. As I gaze outside my window to absorb in the beauty of the nature, I also realize that nothing else could make this a perfect moment - me comfortably ducked in my comforter inside my super warm apartment, enjoying the snowfall and soft romantic number, soothing to my ears; playing on my laptop sitting on my lap and my favorite Ice-cream on the other. A perfect moment for the perfect weather. There's so much more that I want out of life and the desires are endless, but for now ... I think this was perfect to calm me down and ease out all my anxieties ...... even if it were for a moment .. I was in content with myself.

One Fight ... many Stabs.. One Dead... many Deaths....Emotional Turmoil /Outbreak !

Late Lt. Anubhav Rao's family would've never ever in their wildest dreams thought that their son after April 13th, 2008 will never come back home ... ALIVE .... he did came back though... but just the body... the soul was gone ...! And they thought he was out there for his vacation ... supposedly having a good time. I could never possibly imagine what his family must be going through .... I don't even want to think or feel. "Had his life been sacrificed in combat, our suffering would have been much less," his mother said. Nothing in this world can justify or suffice a parent's loss .... He did not deserved to be ...... He did not deserve to die like this ...... No one deserves to be murdered ... He is a soldier .. and he deserves much more respect from the nation, from the people who make this nation. The least we owe him is justice.... justice for an untimely demise of this young pilot. The advocate needs to be punished .... not only to make him realize his mistake but also a lesson to others who think they can get away by committing such crimes, crime of drunken driving .... wrong side parking .... assault ... and stabbing an innocent man to death .. and injuring others as well.

What really hurts the most is the statement given by the defense lawyer Shashi Pandit.... having the audacity of calling Hari Daas Tanwar (the criminal/murderer) an "innocent man" and addressing Tanwar's actions as an act of self defense..... innocent people don't stab others in rage ... innocent people don't drink n drive ..... they don't disobey the laws ..... innocent was anubhav .... who was killed in all this chaos ..... innocent is his family who will live with this pain all through their lives .... innocent is his mother who'll never see his elder son's face again .... innocent is his father who had to put down his son with his own hands ....... innocent is his brother who'll never be able to seek guidance from his elder brother ......innocent are all those people who were attached to anubhav ....loved him for who he was ..... One wrong move ... one action out of anger killed so many innocents ..... A tear shed ......

A Devil faced Angel .... :-)

AAhhmmmmm....welll for the past few weeks lets just say that I wasn't very happy with everything happening around me.. and my surrounding ... I had moved out from the place I called my home for the last 3 years and me was certainly not liking it.... not that I'm not adaptable to the changes but I think 3 years is a long time anyway ...... So here I am in a new place... new faces .... new people.... new apartment ... new environment and a total 180 degree change in the weather.... I guess I was used to living in a sunny weather and now.... heee hee ... well its rarely that sunny ... In everything that's happening new around me .... I stood back and was trying to get a grasp of the new surrounding and being a silent observer ... I like to observe very closely, watching every minute detail... so in this new place I stand back and like a true and a devoted spectator I just observe, watch people interact..... the way they get dress.. (since the usual temperature here is sub-zero)... the busy busy life .... I stand here and look at the very fast pacing lifestyle around me... everything is sooooo fast and swift ... so....energetic .. and in between the entire crowd of unknown faces I am still smiling ... if you may ask .. that's because in this crowd there's a reason for me to smile .. there's this one known face, an almost angelic face which has this gesture of reassurance ... an aura which can so very easily make anyone comfortable around itself ... and in that crowd he's standing there... watching me and is definitely smiling back at me ... it is such a great relief to know that you are not alone .. someone you trust and can rely on is just "half a call away" .... and I know I can always fall back to him and he'll try his level best to help me through.... Something about him just makes me smile .... don't know if its him or the small little things he does to make you feel comfortable and special or the gestures of warmth that just sways your heart away .... Small things like this really makes me feel blessed a lot of times ... blessed to have few people around me who really make a difference in what I really am today ..... Me!!

The Truth about Men and Women

Ok.... so we all know that Men and Women are worlds apart when it comes to thinking ... so what's new in that?? Everyone knows it ..... m sure a whole lot of us have read the very famous non-fiction "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" by John Gray... quite an interesting book I must say ... those of you who haven't put your hands on it .. should definitely read it ... ahem... coming back to the point .... Since no one has ever been ignorant from this hard core reality ... why am I sitting here writing a blog instead?? ....I should be a good kid and instead of blogging should concentrate my energy in studying, but I ain't doing that... reason ..... aaammm well because I wanted to share this cute little incident that happened with me and I couldn't resist the temptation to pen it down ...... So here goes...

It was one of those gloomy/depressing day today where I proved to be a total waste when it came to working productively, So I sucked at work .... came home early to sulk even more in my new apartment only to make situations worst .... what the heck was I thinking??? I was thinking that I'll get some work done from home .. big mistake .... but here I was slouching on my sofa and instead of working I was sobbing n what not ... and so I called the only person I know who's easily reachable and is the one of the cutest souls living in this bad bad world ... so when I call him ... he's at work and a little busy.... hence I decided to let it be... and held myself back from blabbering out about my bad mood and allowed him to get back to his work ... but eventually I couldn't resist not telling him and blabbered out all my emotions on messenger and asked him if he could drop by if only for a few mintues ..... well he agrees but out of concern asked me the reason for my mood swing .... now here comes the cute little funny part and the part where it again proves that Men are soooooooooooo different from Women in almost all the aspects which involves a lot of thinking ..... as we are talking or rather chatting ... I try to explain that the reason why I'm on a emotional turmoil is not something which has a viable reason ...in my case I just want to cry(maybe 'coz I am overwhelmed by the new changes and was possibly exhausted and frustrated). It is common for a woman to behave unusual of herself... and mostly around that time what they need is someone to just cuddle( a hug works the best) them a little and to let them cry for a while and may be tell them a few consoling words like "it'll be alright or it'll all be ok .. dont worry blah blah" ... so basically all we are talking about is babying a women when she's on a emotional roller coaster ride.... Now there are times when We(I mean women) would just want to cry. Period. Or most of the times its just that we've completely lost our patience and or are simply overwhelmed with too much happening in our surrounding... but that does not mean that we (Women) don't have solution to our problems .... on the other hand ... Men (they) think that if a woman is crying than there has to be a reason ... and or a problem for which she might (most likely) not have an answer for .... See where I am going with this theory ..... different perspective of thinking and handling things ................................... anywhoooo coming back to my story .... Here I was talking(chatting) to him and explaining that today I just want to cry and let it all out ... and as a favor if he could just hug me and let me cry ..... and on the other hand he like a stubborn cute little kid was constantly trying to find out what went so wrong with me ... and wanted to know the problem / reasons for which I was so upset that I was crying like a baby .... So for good 20 mins or so we had this conversation of him asking me what was wrong and all I kept saying was that nothing was wrong and I might be overwhelmed.... and despite me trying in every possible way to convince him that there is actually no big reason that I'm upset he still found it hard to believe that one can cry for no reason at all and eventually gave up agreed that Women sometimes(most of the time) are really difficult to understand... and in the entire process of this discussion I actually forgot that I was upset and realized that was busy focusing all my energy in making him understand the difference in thinking process... both the sexes are actually in a very different platonic level when it comes to applying thoughts..... how cutely funny is that ... lollllzz ...
Anywhooo .... I asked him to drop by for a few minutes and while in conversation I realize that he actually has an evening class to attend and there are chances that he might not be able to come at all .... me was disappointed a little but I truly understood that the poor thing was working whole day and had an evening class to attend .... So I tell him not to worry about me and to continue with his schedule ... (I'm a good girl you see ... :-D) but to my utmost surprise he calls me and was on his way to where I live .... and we went out for nice coffee (I got a little pep talk as well .. lollz), on my way back home it made me realize that the 30 minutes I was with him turned out to be the happiest part of my oh so ever gloomiest day ....... for which I'm really thankful to him ...

Angels or Demons?????

For the past few months .... lets say I've been fighting my own demons(or angels.... you decide.... read the blog first.. ) in trying to do the right thing. But I really don't want to do it 'cause my heart is totally against it. Well I'll admit that I'm an attention grabber ... but in my own subtle way(it comes more naturally to me.. hee hee) but lately it doesn't seem to be working. Every time I go out .. get dressed .. the only reason I am doing that is .. well is not because I really want to go out and throw my charmed tantrums around but mostly because I am being forced my by buddy to look good! Its crazy how my mind is wandering all the time but in less than a minute's time its back to the same thoughts ... the same feeling.. For instance, one of my friends is leaving for France soon and so it was goodbye... we'll miss you.... going away party .. (which by the way totally rocked... and was a much needed break) ... at first I really dint feel like going ... because of two reasons.. the righteous one -- related to my academic life .. and the other .. uhh well to my personal side .... much against to my wishes .. here I was doing the right thing.... as my friend who was leaving happens to be a sweetheart and she totally deserved to be with the people who she really likes... and because I will definitely miss her .. and won't be able to see her or talk to her as often as I used to .... (and the small portion was the much needed break ... )... So I got all dressed up .. n I really felt that after a long time I was looking good ... went to the party... had a great time .. and it felt good to see the smile on my friend's face .... Also, my buddy took some wonderful pictures ... which by the way makes me look good ... :-D Later on as I get the pics from the party and as usual I go and put my favorite picture as my display image on my favorite place(online community).. Orkut.... as elated I was to put up that picture... something inside of me tickled .. and wasn't really happy ... You see .. when you put up a new display picture or upload pics in your album or change something in your profile it is easily noticeable to everyone in your friends list... and here comes all those scraps from everyone .... which is nice most of the times ... as people notice you... guess what it feels good to get all the attention for sometime .... but this time I wasn't really looking for all that attention .. the attention I wanted was from "that" someone, who probably will not even notice it and even if he does ... which by the way ain't happening .. I will never be able to know (don't want to justify why)... As much as I would love to get all his attention ... it won't be the right thing to go for. Somewhere a small part of me would be really happy but another side of me .. which "always wants to do the right thing" will not be happy at all ..... I know in my secret desires and wishes I really wish for my wish to come true ... but the other side of me stops me too .... I'm really trying to reach for stars here... I'm actually asking for something which is whaaaaaayyyyy out of my league .. but I guess that's the human nature ...... in one way or the other every ounce of our blood and every inch of our muscle wants to fight for something that is beyond our reach .... we all want things which we know we cannot have ... or rather we shouldn't have ..... but the heart that's pumping inside us never stops dreaming .... fantasizing ... So what do you do?? Do you just follow your heart or you do the right thing?? In the end I guess it all boils down to these two most............ annoying ... disturbing and important questions ... hmmmm ....

What?? the blog's over ... I don't have the answer to the question.. so now go back to your work!!! Scoootttt!!

Faith Hill - There You'll Be ................

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When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
There you'll be.....

Memories .... memories which still lingers in my soul... a fantasy which is so real for me ... and somewhere deep down inside, a part of me is still waiting for it to come to life........