Well I was going out with this friend who also happens to be an indian living abroad living all by herself...... just like the way I was living and here I was coming from a movie that we went together and we were returning back to home....and somehow she made me listen to the song from some aishwarya rai movie.....I guess aa ab laut chalen.....n she made me listen to the title track of this movie.....what it was like listening to crap at first...... coz generally I dont like listening to such things and flow into emotions as I'm more ruled by living life practically rather than living it emotionally but somehow today to my atmost surprise I also heard it and somehow liked it and started to analysing more of my emotional side......and uhhh then here I was analaysing both of our living and situations and our life styles and the life that we go thru everyday...the pain , the trauma , the happiness , the frustations , the moments of love and being loved which was rare in our daily lives....lonliness was our friend most of the times....
Well.... I wont disclose her name but she is going thru a painful divorce after a marriage of 10 long years. I would stil call it an unsuccessful marriage though I dont have any right to comment on somebody's personal life......a mistake happens at both the ends......isnt' it?? both of the homo spaiens are responsible for the mistake. aahhh....I not writing this to talk about a marriage failure - the reasons for its failures and its remedies...well I just wanted to talk about two people...!!!! she is going thru a very bad patch of her life.......with her six year old daughter sufferning the separation of her parents and she herself being so vulnerable ....scared of going for another relationship. I must admit that women in general are vulnerable no matter how strong they are in any situation.
Ahem.....uhhh but anyways leaving aside the more critic side of me and here I was looking at our lives, trying to find our ways in our own field , being independent if thats how we would like to put it...!!! things had been going good with me when I came here....I had a job , I had taken good courses n i guess I was enjoying the early stages of my independence, while it dint stay that long and soon I realised that independence doesnt mean freedom to live your own life on your own terms .....but independence also means to have responsibilites towards the actions you take and the decisions you make about your own life accepting the right ones and taking in gracefully the wrong ones and learning from your mistakes. Walking thru the thin line of doing things the right way and the wrong way......trying to be always perfect and being perfect.
I learned a lot from my mistakes(which is what I say all the time....but hey I am still learning), or rather I am still learning from my mistakes but after a long time I realised that all the fun that I had in the beginning resulted in my bad grades and soon i realised that its not fun always....well the wise decision after that was I left my job (which was more demanding) and started hunting for another ...a less demanding one so that I could improve my grades which I did so far. I got the job after 3 months of rigrous hunt....at the same time I was trying to keep up with the family and manage with my boyfriend....we fight a lot!! she on the other hand was going thru a brutal divore, having a job , working again in the evenings and at the same time trying to raise a kid without getting affect with their divorce which I must admit is very very difficult.
And in all this I was thinking about my luxurious lifestyle in India...the days with every thing just there in just a wink , and I wanted to go back...back to where I belong....where things are mine....where even a stranger gives the feeling of being someone to you!!! just of being some one you can call your own...your own...my country and me....and I love it...I just love it this way...!!!
Well.... I wont disclose her name but she is going thru a painful divorce after a marriage of 10 long years. I would stil call it an unsuccessful marriage though I dont have any right to comment on somebody's personal life......a mistake happens at both the ends......isnt' it?? both of the homo spaiens are responsible for the mistake. aahhh....I not writing this to talk about a marriage failure - the reasons for its failures and its remedies...well I just wanted to talk about two people...!!!! she is going thru a very bad patch of her life.......with her six year old daughter sufferning the separation of her parents and she herself being so vulnerable ....scared of going for another relationship. I must admit that women in general are vulnerable no matter how strong they are in any situation.
Ahem.....uhhh but anyways leaving aside the more critic side of me and here I was looking at our lives, trying to find our ways in our own field , being independent if thats how we would like to put it...!!! things had been going good with me when I came here....I had a job , I had taken good courses n i guess I was enjoying the early stages of my independence, while it dint stay that long and soon I realised that independence doesnt mean freedom to live your own life on your own terms .....but independence also means to have responsibilites towards the actions you take and the decisions you make about your own life accepting the right ones and taking in gracefully the wrong ones and learning from your mistakes. Walking thru the thin line of doing things the right way and the wrong way......trying to be always perfect and being perfect.
I learned a lot from my mistakes(which is what I say all the time....but hey I am still learning), or rather I am still learning from my mistakes but after a long time I realised that all the fun that I had in the beginning resulted in my bad grades and soon i realised that its not fun always....well the wise decision after that was I left my job (which was more demanding) and started hunting for another ...a less demanding one so that I could improve my grades which I did so far. I got the job after 3 months of rigrous hunt....at the same time I was trying to keep up with the family and manage with my boyfriend....we fight a lot!! she on the other hand was going thru a brutal divore, having a job , working again in the evenings and at the same time trying to raise a kid without getting affect with their divorce which I must admit is very very difficult.
And in all this I was thinking about my luxurious lifestyle in India...the days with every thing just there in just a wink , and I wanted to go back...back to where I belong....where things are mine....where even a stranger gives the feeling of being someone to you!!! just of being some one you can call your own...your own...my country and me....and I love it...I just love it this way...!!!
